Thursday, August 14, 2014

The little pink girl and her "kitty cat".

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I was walking in the city and went to my favourite fast food restaurant. When I was on my table, I saw a little girl in her pink shirt sitting on the floor watching TV.  She was sitting smack right in the middle of the lane where patrons would queue up to order their food! I saw the poor little girl before wearing exactly the same colour pink, and she was always without a guardian! The last time I saw her, she was holding bills of RM1 and was walking around quite aimlessly when she accidentally come upon me. I took a bill from her hands gently and smiled, and caught her attention - then I returned it back to her. This is no Breakfast at Tiffany's, more like Fast Food at Uncle Jack's. But the players are the same and one with each other. When I saw her again, I beckoned her to come sit on my empty chair, so she can watch the TV comfortably and not blocked anyone's way. As she sat comfortably on the chair, I tried talking to her in English and BM, but she doesn't seem to know how to respond. She looked at me with her innocent eyes and I too looked at her approvingly. I just let her be, and bought her an ice-cream cone. Through my eyes, I see her innocence and pray she was not abused in any way, but only by the act of begging. I feel there's no difference between us, heck, I am "begging" too in my own way. I remembered the kitty cat Holly Golightly picked up in the dumpster in the rain at the end of Breakfast at Tiffany's. Except I am not Holly Golightly, but the kitty cat "picked up" by the little girl in pink.

Such is the real world of living in Kuala Lumpur nowadays. In many ways, I felt like her too - abandoned in a desolate city without a guardian. In my case, I was able to see it as some form of freedom and be thankful about it. But for the little girl who doesn't know anything yet, it must feel strange for her to wander around and be washed up by seas of strangers and momentary distractions like the TV she was glued on. She must be seeking some form of momentary escape from her begging parents on the street - whom I suspected she must come from. In some ways, it's easier for her for she doesn't know anything yet about life. But for those who knows about the harsh realities about life, we too, seek an escape like her. Thankfully for the little girl, at least she doesn't have the conscious knowing about suffering yet.

For middle-income and lower group adults, our suffering can be condensed on simply one aspect: financial. The cost of living has risen significantly without just cause. Making ends meet have been extremely challenging. With this great challenge, comes great violence people commit against each other. The comparison between married and single persons, personally I feel single persons have it the most challenging because they don't have the imaginary support of a "system" - be it a wife, husband, relatives or friends. Personally for me, my kind of support rests on my imagination and the higher power of God. Single people get love wherever they can find. At least to an artiste like myself, abandoned yet refusing to be forgotten - so I move around like a kitty cat looking for love. I don't see myself as above or below to anybody in this jaded world - for the secret of living is knowing everything is only temporary. There is no forever in this world.

And so we continue to seek momentary escapism to pass the time of our wait at the station or wherever intersection of our lives. Like the little girl glued on watching the TV -  watching the visuals of happy Caucasians living their high lives in their music videos. She was mimicking the dance moves of these pop stars. We may not escape in our bodies, at least we get to escape in our imagination. I shared with her my table, she shared with me her gentle presence. With our momentary togetherness, we feel happy to be with each other. She hungers for an adult attention, this poor little girl. Even though we don't talk to each other, she reads my facial expression to see if I am paying her any attention. When she was comfortable, she went out and come back with a ringgit bill in her hand. I took the bill from her and she quickly laid flat on the floor, pretending to be dèad! I laughed for I know it's some form of protest and tempted her the ringgit bill, but she continued rolling herself on the floor - unperturbed by the dirt and walking patrons. Life may be cruel to both of us, but at this brief moment at least we can be happy in each other's company.