Friday, August 16, 2013

Why Bananas is the Artiste's Choice for King of Fruitdom

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First, let me christened bananas as the king in all of fruitdom. If people ask me what type of fruit to act or represent, it must be bananas! Not the smelly durian. Or the stuck-up apples. I love bananas because it means different things to different people. You can call someone went bananas, which means that person went crazy mad. Or to the vulgar folks, banana means the penis. This banana fruit is truly THE fruit all artistes should embrace.

The Shape
It's easy to hold with one hand. The elongated almost dynamite stick-like shape makes it stand out among the crowd of boring fruits everywhere. Just stick out a banana in a public place, and surely someone would give you a stare. The shape is attention grabbing, which is why I always have a banana for breakfast, lunch or dinner. You can put it in your bag - big or small and it still fits. Put it in your pocket at your pants to connotes your manliness or the jacket to scare people into thinking you have a pistol. The banana shape is here to intimidate, arouse, scare, cajol and a million other tiny emotions would surface without any words spoken necessarily. Especially if you're a serious award recognised Actor like me, the banana's golden shape looks more like an Oscar statuette.

The act of peeling the skin of a banana could emote a hundred reactions from men and women. The act itself is so easy to do, and not strenuous to your finger muscles. I always enjoy peeling off a banana in front of someone I hate or love, once I've already identified that person.

A hundred ways to eat
After peeling off the skins, voila, the full flesh is revealed immediately. Not like the hard and sharp skin of the durian, how troublesome to crack open. With a banana, you can skip all the drama and hurdles and simply eat it with a relaxed mind. If you're an actor like me, find the perfect person you can eat it in front to and give them a performance of a lifetime. For someone you love, bit in big chunks slowly to show how passionate you can be, and leave an exhilarating expectation for afterwards. For someone you despise, quickly bit off the heads of the flesh to show you have no mercy to those who crosses your path or angers you in any way.

Nutrition for the rich and poor alike
An artiste have to constantly keeps his or her body in shape. After some heavy workout, a banana in the purse is always an energy booster. Or if you're too poor to buy food, simply just get a bunch of bananas - it's equally and even more satisfying than a 5-course meal. I always feel better, cheerier and more ready to confront this hypocritical world after I stomach a banana. Besides being such a satisfying fruit like no other, a banana is extremely budget-friendly too if you're a person of limited means.

Short Shelf Life
Once you purchase a bunch of bananas, be sure to finish it, say within 4 days. The banana peels begin to have black spots, a gentle reminder to all of us that life is short for all of us, not just the bananas. So everytime you peel one off, savor each bite like it's your last and enjoy all the tiny sensations the flesh exudes in your watery mouth. Make sure you chew well, until it finally turns into a delicious melted ice-cream mesh, then swallow with one hearty joyous gulp as a welcome addition to your stomach (God knows what crap you put inside, but a banana is surely more nutritious). Once it is gone, take a moment to relive everything you had till that moment and give thanks.

Always a happy boy with a banana
And finally...
Every little bit of the banana has some use if you really put your heart and mind to it. Same with your life. Nothing is wasted, unless you say it so. A banana's life is how you make it in your state of mind. Even the banana's peel can be put into good use if you know what to do. If you love to care for your skin, place the peels over your eyes and the top of your forehead immediately after peeling, for underneath is full of nutrients for the skin. If there's someone you hate, simply wait in a corner for him or her to walk by, then throws the peels right on the walkway for that person to slip upon and fall flat on the face with a bang! Oh, the joys of being bananas....

For my fans who wants to know about my latest ACHIEVEMENTS:
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