Thursday, August 22, 2013

8 Pitfalls to validate you're a famous Artiste (and possibly very attractive). Provided you don't fall flat to your face first.

One of the more dignified moments
when my picture is taken.
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People thinks it's all fun and glamour becoming an Artiste (I know some of my silly students do). To them, life of an artiste is easy and free from worries. Darlings, far far from this delusion! Being a non-muslim Artiste in a muslim country like Malaysia is totally different from Hollywood. Our local creative industry in TV broadcasting and some film quarters is controlled with many self-imposed rules of don't do this and do that, populated by mostly, if not all fools who are afraid and always in hiding. What's more, many Malaysians don't really care about local artistes, and with good reasons too - I agree with them. For me, this is an advantage for me, because truly I cannot stand local artistes myself, and would be gladly be left alone with my own devices. No paparazzi to disturb me, or tricky news reports about me - though when I first become famous, lots of crazy reports can be read at local papers which are not true. But on a larger context, an Artiste needs to function in the society too, and it definitely affects my everyday life. If you're a real Artiste, you can never ever really fits into a "normal society". How come? Let's start examining based on my own real-life experience:

1) People wants to see you - just see, you see?
The first time this happened to me was when one of The Star newspaper journalists arranged a meeting with me saying that it wanted to publish a feature story, after the news article. That was at the height of my famous Malaysian Idol performance that went viral online. So being new, I just obliged and meet the said journalist. Not one journalist, but 5 of them turned up! Of course, I was young and naive that time, and just followed them up to the office tower, and we sat in the meeting room. After that, nothing happened - meaning no news on print. I never buy The Stars newspaper after that. The subsequent times when this see-see happens is when I apply for jobs. This happened quite recently, and the 2 ladies interviewing me looked super excited, which I don't know why! Again, nothing happened - meaning no job being offered. This type of meeting will surely happen if I were to send in my resume to any company.

One of my first most-downloaded
and misused picture online
2) People wants to own you
Some people after seeing, feeling not satisfied, wants MORE. Yes, and that is to own you for free. Specifically in a Malaysian context, most people in business are real cheapskates. Like the saying - nothing is free. Even when people gives you money, you can expect something you have to give in return. It's business, pure and simple. But there's plenty of unscrupulous business people in Malaysia, and most of them are really there for their own benefit. What's worse is the ownership part. I don't know whether it's due to religion, the concept of ownership is really apparent here. Owning a human being is the worst type, because then - you would be a modern-day slave! They expect you to behave a certain way- heads covered, everything covered from tit to toe, and that is not creativity. Live free or die. Personally, I feel like dying or losing hope if I were to work in an office hour environment type.

3) Harder to find regular job
Artistes are very different from normal folks. I don't know whether it's because of my own impatience, or the expectations people have upon me. I believe it has to do with me in large part, because I cannot really stand long dull office hours or I'll give them a real Steve Jobs - unless if they compensates well and fairly. Also most if not all Malaysian companies practises cheap salary to hire, and NOT based on your credentials and past achievements don't count a thing. They prefer to hire the young and naive, so these companies can control them easily, not like a smart and experienced person like myself. So, most of the time, we would run away from regular full-time jobs. Possibly because I am not a regular person in the first place. But other than that, my reputation as an artiste - people knows my face! So it can be a double-edged sword. Most if not all bosses are those traditional sort, and deem artistes as such and such, so it's not the good morally upright sort impression they have on me. That's it, I'm destined to be a kept harlot for the rest of my life. Anyone?

4) Jealousy
Like it or not, most adult Malaysians still behaves like little children. They're envious of your achievements. Or would praise you in very plastic manner. Then, they would say some incriminating or negative comment behind your back just to make themselves feel better to make up for their own lack of achievements. Or define you in a way that makes them feel better. It happens to me before, so jealousy is a big no-no if you want to become a true artiste. The truth is, there's nothing to be jealous about! I have a student who gets so envious of actors on billboards. Sooner or later, he would find out (in a very hard way for him, I'm sure) that he's jealous about nothing. There's one Russian bitch (in Malaysia, we have a term Mak Gatal, translated in English as Auntie Itchy) I accidentally "bumped" into online who went berserk in attacking me via emails and comments (that's why I don't publish it here) when she knew about me. That week, my blog was hit with the highest number of visitors from that're right - Russia! See how jealousy transcends nations.

For my fans who wants to know about my latest ACHIEVEMENTS:
BMW Film Awards Best Actor
Jury Duty
Europe Photo Exhibit
The Face for Jobstreet
World Cup KFC commercial
Controversial but Most-Watched Episode
The Golden Shorts Fame

5) Temptations Galore
Men and women wants to own you. Like me, I've managed to do some profiling homework of all the people who were interested in me in the past and now, and the facts were astonishing! These facts I'll keep for my own personal pleasure, thank you. I respect the privacy of all my conquests, even the bad ones. When human being wants you, they would tempts you with all sorts of pleasures. So as an artiste, do you give in or give out? This has to do with the type of person that artiste is in the first place. I've seen artiste fallen into drugs and sex, and it has to do with their own desires. That's where my coaching comes in handy with How to Manage Yourself in facing Temptation. Don't give in to silly pressures - it's all just in your head and from your lack of sleep. Nowadays I am much wiser not to be attracted by temptations. I received calls, and most of them I just passed on to my friend to handle. Yes, good physique of a person is important, but it's not everything. Tall good-looking people falls too, so why not give the shorter guys a chance? I am short by the way, so I am talking about myself.

6) Eyes will be judging
All artistes crave attention. But as you matures, you'll find that not all attention is good. Aspiring artistes needs to know when is the right time to get attention, when to let go and what to do with it after that. Besides getting precious attention, it is also wise for the artiste to learn how to let go of their own selfish desire for attention. It has a lot to do with self-control and wisdom. Remember there are bad men too in this world. And they have eyes on you too. You know in Malaysia, little little things people like to blow it out of proportion. Like wearing a totally innocent skimpy yellow shorts. That's an uneducated mentality, and so many of them are like that. So is that the type of market you want to conquer for your fame and fortune? If yes, good, go ahead. If not, it's important to KNOW YOUR MARKET. That's why Personal Coaching is really essential for all artistes, not only the new ones, but the mature ones need it too.

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7) Strangers want to take you home (or to their starship)
To the new, this prospect may seem exciting. But wait until you get into their homes. When I entered a strangers' home, you get to know the person even more. Most of the homes I went into are bungalows and beautiful condos with tight security. I get to see some pretty stuff collected from around the world. Some of the locations of these homes are so isolated, it's like travelling into another state (or galaxy). But as an artiste, you must love to travel. Inculcate the adventuresome spirit in you. Then be patient. Now a word of precaution: once you entered a stranger's home, you may not be able to get out as fast as you want. Some would insist you to stay and read a book. Some would insist you to sit quietly on the sofa, while meals are being prepared. Just pray you don't get any lunatic who went bananas to control everything in the house (even you!), and you'll have to suffer through the night. Yikes! The latest offer I received is to be on a cruise ship. I think that's better than to be in a dark lonely bungalow up on some god-forsaken hills.

8) Pants will be dropping (or some such obscene gesture)
I have encountered people doing some obscene gestures at me at different places. My first was when I was doing a shoot for a Malay drama, and this gaffer (I think - he was carrying equipment in and out of the location) would come touching my crotch area after I've changed into my ward robe! When I am alone sitting, reading my script, he would hovered unknowingly and whispered some obscene words to conjure some imagination into my head when I'm trying to memorise my lines! Mental rape, help. This type of obscene behavior goes beyond just the set location, and at your local mamak restaurant too! I don't know whether it's because I'm famous (not trying to be conceited here or just plain attractive?) , but this Mamak guy at the counter would looked very excitedly like almost out-of-breath whenever I come to the counter to pay. Once, he was so daring as to enact his masturbatory hand gestures right in front of me! After that incident, I would only call upon the other more polite waiter to come to my table so I can pay through him - not directly confronting that obscene dwarf. The first week of the fasting month, I came in again just to observe how he would react when he sees me. And it was hilarious! He walked from his cashier counter to the wash basin (a few times) which was only just a few steps behind him, and splash himself with water and wet his face like he's fainting or somewhat suffering from some sort of deprivation. Good.

And one more thing...
Your pictures shall be taken indiscriminately. This would wrap up your desire for craving attention. For me, like most other normal folks, it feels like invasion of privacy. I used to teach, and some of my students would snap a picture of me without my knowledge when I'm teaching.So what did I do? I carried my own camera and snap a picture back at him, while covering my face.

So there you have it - the 8 pitfalls (plus one more) an artiste would eventually face (and endure) in their careers. This may sound like fun reading, but for me - it still is an everyday challenge. The good thing is I am not always on the media or too exposed, which gives me some form of exclusivity and mystery as an Artiste. Having all these experience are fun, and some downright torture, but I am still glad to be able to write and impart these insights to all my beloved readers here. Again, personal coaching is important for upcoming artistes to cleverly overcome the 8 pitfalls I've just mentioned, and this service is what I provide. Read about my PERSONAL COACHING's TOP TEN success stories here:
1) Coaching You to Success
2) Full Attendance
3) Fashion Students Showcase
4) Bigger Class
5) Taking Students on Roadshows
6) International Students
7) Student on Magazine Cover
8) Student Casting Session for Real Jobs
9) Students Photo Shoot
10) Students Performing for Event

For how to become a better ARTISTE tips:

For more tips on how to be a smarter SHOPPER, click below:
Instant Coffee Review
Tips to Better Touchscreen Care
The Buyer's Psychology
Money-Saving Tips
How to be a Smart Shopper (Grocery Goods)
Tips for Buying Shoes (Sneakers)
Instant Noodles (Mee Goreng) Review
The Perfectionist Shopper
Shopping Tips for Electronic Gadgets
Music Player Review
Taking Care of Your Umbrella
Tips for Buying the Best Diary
The Best Tablet

For GAME apps and FILM review:
Temple Run vs Subway Surfers vs Minion Rush
Angry Birds Space (close to 10,000 hits)
Angry Birds: Red's Mighty Feathers
Skyfall movie review
Pacific Rim and Lone Ranger
In the Mood for Love vs Belle Du Jour

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Smartphones Unveiling Event
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Christmas 2011 Display
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Student Art Fair
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Launch Event - Pikom ICT Capsquare