Thursday, March 22, 2012

Love is Simple. Love is Kind. If you cannot grasp that, you'll need to unlearn.

Remember the saying "Love is Simple. Love is Kind"? Suddenly, it hits me that I have totally forgotten these powerful beautiful words. I believe it could have come from the Bible or somewhere, though I am not the overly-religious sort. But these words about love simply struck me like a lightning and compels me to write this entry. Looking back, I have to admit what a "mess" it has been for me before I arrived to this beautiful conclusion. The view of the whole world is totally transformed before my eyes.

I have experienced before, friends whom I know personally known, secretly hooked up behind my backs. But why? As I mirror back this awkward situation against the saying of "Love is Simple, Love is Kind", I noticed how much fear, guilt and worry these 2 friends of mine experienced - all for nothing. I mean, love should be something simple. If you love someone, just show it openly, what's more to another friend? There's no problem, unless there are problems already present in their heads. Or maybe, it's the urgent thrill of doing something secretly that makes them feel more superior or better than others?

Complex doesn't make Love
Come to think about it, I can feel how complicated lives have been as an adult. Like my two friends, I know they have talked in length about their lives - financially, past personal experiences, fears etc for like 9 hours! It's really, really that complex. And then comes the issue of compatibility, shared responsibilities etc. My god, no wonder it's getting harder and harder to find love in this world now! So all you single folks out there, REJOICE! Deep inside, re-claim your simplicity for love, because you know it is the best kind of love of all. Simple Love.

You see, simplicity is powerful. Look at me. Now I know why I have been sad and depressed lately, simply because the world outside is making "love" complex. I don't even want to describe it, but you all know. The magazines will tell you to get love, you have to be a certain way, wear a certain brand of clothing etc. But simplicity cuts through all that crap, man. Politicians talked about "my race, your race". I say, shove it. You are giving me a headache, and all I want is simplicity.

Kindness is Simple
Love is Kind. Yes! Kindness. Nothing is harsh with love. Nothing hurried, fast or emotionally explosive about love. Emotional explosion is close to lust, not love OK? Madness, anger, jealousy, all that jazz is the outcome from not loving simply. (see how important it is to love simply?) That's why so many singles out there, because they love themselves, right guys? Kindness is clarity and objective. You don't expect something back from doing something for other people. If you cannot live with that, then don't do it. What's even worst is, don't even dare promise you do it. Because then, it is not love. That's why it's easier to love thyself.

Look back at my two friends again, after they've hooked up, I think there was a period where they felt "guilty" for hooking up behind my back. But I told them, that's nonsense! I am happy for them. I think they are a great example in which I can also examine myself, for now I cherish how simplicity is so powerful in determining whether love truly exists in a relationship or not. But now, they have been quiet, I don't know what happen, but one can guess. It's so clear, I don't even have to say it.

To be simple, is not as simple as it sounds, mind you, dear readers. I myself, have been guilty, to subconsciously make my life complicated. I think it's the vicious cycle. When your boss or work demands you to be in a certain way, complexity sets in. And all that we've learned from primary school up until university have been skewed narrowly towards that great career with good money. But seriously, this life is simple. So simple, you'll soon hit a brick wall on your head, and realized quite bitterly that it is all for nothing. You live. You die. But did you love?

More money, more Love?
To love, for people nowadays means money. How we have equate love with money, that it becomes one so seamlessly. But do you know, once money sets in, control also sets in. I don't know why so many people works for the money. Job ads shouted big pay, this and that. Do you know that it is our nature to be simple? When something as complex as merging love with money into one, most of us tend to complicate our lives unknowingly. Stress from work. Migraines.

I have a friend who treated me dinner, occasionally, only at his convenience. It's all fine, because I like him as a friend, simple as that. But sometimes, it becomes difficult for me, when he wants to be in control during conversations and uttered controlling words like "I'm paying for the meal, so you don't get to dictate", along that line. Again, this sort of control in a relationship is what makes love difficult. You imprison that someone you love. This not only happens between couples, but among friends as well.

There's no Grey in Love. It's all simply Red!
Back to the "Love is Simple, Love is Kind", I quite never shake it out of my head! For me, simplicity is strength. That's what makes love so easy. It should be simple. Like my Artiste Training Course, I have the RM2500 for 18 classes. Simple as that. You take it, or leave it. There's no grey lines, like whether I can take just 1 hour per class and then transfer it to the next session...NO. That is too complex.

So where does all these hiding, manipulating, lying, masking, deceiving comes from? Simply put, we must all UNLEARN what we have learned. It's not as easy as it sounds, mind you. It took me over a decade to figure this out, and I'm still unlearning. People tell you other races have their own agendas, to mix with your own race, your own type of friends, people. People tell you must work hard to earn money, or study hard to get a good degree. But life doesn't care about these things. Life is bigger and simpler than that. You live. You die. But have you ever, truly, honestly love?