Saturday, April 17, 2010

The process of becoming a wo-man

A wise man once said "A human being is like a house with many rooms. To fully live, you need to explore each room". Interesting quote isn't it? Now being a woman isn't the obvious option for any man to explore? Even a woman herself has many things she need to know about herself. Now, this is not an article advocating any sex change operation. Merely in the acting sense. And that is quite a process. Take this journey with me:

Blessing or curse?
It's either a blessing in disguise or a burden. Personally, I think it's a little bit of both. Everywhere I go, it's no longer black or white. Dogs or kittens. The sun or the moon. The good or evil. Everything is becoming one. The very thought of having "breasts" is both enticing and burdensome.

Casting is the hardest work, when you're the director too
The truth of the matter is, I am still the stage director for this hugely complex comedy skid, in which I'm also the writer. Complex because of the flow of the dialogues and matching the right actor or actress to play all the characters. God knows I've tried like a dozen or so actors for the various roles. When I've finally assigned the actors for each of the 3 main roles, one of them, which happened to be a woman, dropped out the last minute.

What? Still no wo-man?
Hence, began my journey. Not straight into becoming a woman, but more of finding a replacement. And the role is not easy to fit, mind you. After a frantic search and various kinds of bribery and light threats were exchanged, still no replacement. Finally, the onus of taking the woman role falls on me. It takes time to get the character right. No wonder so many actress not committed.

In search for the dress that fits a man, add a bra or two
Instantly, have to go to Sungei Wang to look for a wig and a dress that fits. Aaah, the dress. It's deceptive to view a pretty dress and think how good it'll look on you, until you actually tried to put it on (help!). As for me, none of the pretty dresses fit. And so I settled for the blue Marilyn Monroe-like blue dress, at the same shop where I've also bought the expensive blonde wig. I tell you, some unseen forces is at work here, that makes sure I get all the essentials. Is this role meant for me, I secretly asked God. By the way, I discovered I can only wear bra size 36C. Va-va-voom!

Behind every successful wo-man is the shoes
Then comes the shoes. The thing about shopping, to me, is when you decide to buy something to conjure a certain look (in my peculiar case: the image of a wo-man), you better complete the whole look. This pair of 6-inch shoe, red in color, with ankle belt, strikes me as the perfect "hooker-wife" look. Apparently, during the performance, the red shoes caused more "trouble" than anticipated. I heard the audiences laughed anyway.

Switch the sex, twist the facts, bingo, it's comedy!
Ancient Romans have a word for the female and male spirit: anime (female) and animus (male). Being the writer for this comedy skid, I've pretty much got the essence of both clearly written. Since it's a comedy, the switch between the 2 spirits always bring freshness to the play. Funny thing is, I actually wanted the daughter character to play the boy. It finally ended with me (the boy) playing the mother (a wo-man).

ATTENTION: We are still looking for actors or actress to play the main Mother role. So if you think you fit, read the article below "Looking for Actress" and apply asap! These red hooker-wife shoes are killing me.